Question

3．假如你是班長(zhǎng)，學(xué)期結(jié)束時(shí)你要給同學(xué)作簡(jiǎn)短的評(píng)價(jià)．你班的李華這個(gè)學(xué)期變化很大，請(qǐng)你根據(jù)提示寫(xiě)一篇簡(jiǎn)評(píng)．

過(guò)去	功課不好，常與同學(xué)爭(zhēng)吵，垃圾被他撒的滿(mǎn)地都是，課桌總是一團(tuán)糟．
現(xiàn)在	自從老師和他溝通后，有了很大變化．（學(xué)習(xí)、與同學(xué)相處、生活…）
結(jié)果	父母、老師對(duì)他滿(mǎn)意多了．
希望	…．

要求：
1）所寫(xiě)內(nèi)容必須包括提供的所有信息，可適當(dāng)發(fā)揮．
2）括號(hào)部分須用3、4句話(huà)展開(kāi)合理想象，作適當(dāng)發(fā)揮．
3）文章不少于90詞，開(kāi)頭已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)．
4）語(yǔ)氣通順，意思連貫，語(yǔ)法正確，條理清楚，字跡工整．
5）文中不得出現(xiàn)真實(shí)的姓名、校名及地名．
This term，Li Hua has changed a lot． In the past he didn't do well in his subjects．He often quarreled with his classmates．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．His desk was always in a mess．He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．Now he works hard at his lessons．He gets along well with his classmates．He often sweeps the floor．His parents and teachers are satisfied with him．I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．．

Answer 1

分析 這是一篇圖表作文．內(nèi)容是談?wù)劺钊A這個(gè)學(xué)期的變化．時(shí)態(tài)主要為一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)和一般過(guò)去時(shí)．人稱(chēng)主要為第三人稱(chēng)．
寫(xiě)作思路：考生需要首先審清主題，圍繞主題展開(kāi)作文．
其次考生可從以下幾個(gè)方面展開(kāi)作文，即本文的寫(xiě)作要點(diǎn)：
1過(guò)去：功課不好，常與同學(xué)爭(zhēng)吵，垃圾被他撒的滿(mǎn)地都是，課桌總是一團(tuán)糟．
2現(xiàn)在：自從老師和他溝通后，有了很大變化．（學(xué)習(xí)、與同學(xué)相處、生活…）
3結(jié)果：父母、老師對(duì)他滿(mǎn)意多了．
4希望
常用到的重點(diǎn)短語(yǔ)：
do well in 擅長(zhǎng)
quarrel with sb 與某人爭(zhēng)吵
in a mess 混亂
get along with  與某人相處
be satisfied with sb  對(duì)某人滿(mǎn)意
【高分句型】
1．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．
一般過(guò)去時(shí)的被動(dòng)語(yǔ)態(tài)was/were+過(guò)去分詞．
2．He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．
since引導(dǎo)的時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)從句．
3．I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．
hope后是省略了that的賓語(yǔ)從句．get good grades 取得好成績(jī)．

解答 This term，Li Hua has changed a lot． In the past he didn't do well in his subjects．He often quarreled with his classmates．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．【高分句型】His desk was always in a mess．（過(guò)去：功課不好，常與同學(xué)爭(zhēng)吵，垃圾被他撒的滿(mǎn)地都是，課桌總是一團(tuán)糟．）He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．【高分句型】Now he works hard at his lessons．He gets along well with his classmates．He often sweeps the floor．（自從老師和他溝通后，有了很大變化．）His parents and teachers are satisfied with him．（父母、老師對(duì)他滿(mǎn)意多了）I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．【高分句型】（希望）

點(diǎn)評(píng) 本題要求寫(xiě)一篇給同學(xué)作的評(píng)價(jià)．本文所給材料比較詳細(xì)．寫(xiě)作中注意將李華過(guò)去和現(xiàn)在的一些情況介紹清楚，并描述自己對(duì)他將來(lái)的希望．結(jié)合材料可知本文時(shí)態(tài)人稱(chēng)問(wèn)題比較復(fù)雜，涉及過(guò)去，現(xiàn)在和將來(lái)三種時(shí)態(tài)，注意時(shí)態(tài)與時(shí)間狀語(yǔ)的搭配問(wèn)題及主謂一致問(wèn)題．寫(xiě)作中注意使用連詞，序數(shù)詞，做到上下文聯(lián)系緊密，符合邏輯關(guān)系．最后，注意不要犯語(yǔ)法、句法以及搭配性錯(cuò)誤，寫(xiě)好后反復(fù)讀幾遍，適當(dāng)修改．此類(lèi)作文首先要做的就是認(rèn)真閱讀材料，不能跑題偏題．寫(xiě)作中注意一些基礎(chǔ)的寫(xiě)作常識(shí)，不犯低級(jí)錯(cuò)誤．只要平時(shí)積累足夠，就一定能獲得滿(mǎn)意的分?jǐn)?shù)．另外為了應(yīng)付考試，可以有選擇的背誦一些范文，這樣應(yīng)考時(shí)就會(huì)有法可依．