—I really can’t believe such a learned man has made so silly a mistake.

— Don’t you know ________ sense is worth more than knowledge?

A.general B.unusual C.special D.common

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Family fights are never pleasant. Whether you are dealing with a loud sister or a stubborn mom or dad, the situation can be bad. At least that’s what we have learned to expect.

What if it could be different? What if family fights and conflicts could be turned into opportunities to become closer? What if problems could be solved with everyone walking away feeling more deeply cared for and loved?

Family fighting is, on one level, about power. Someone is telling someone else what to do. In a short moment, emotions can be brought out and the fight is on. You can go down that old road or you can try something different.

In any fight, you have a need to be listened to and understood. People raise their voices and shout at each other because they’re not being listened to. It’s totally unconscious. You want your mom or dad to listen and understand. But you always seems to forget the person you’re fighting with has the same need to be listened to. So if you can put aside your need for a few minutes, the situation will change quickly. Give the other person some time to express his or her feelings, and you will earn your turn to be listened to.

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But if the situation starts to get out of hand, it would be wise to just calm down and leave the problem until later because many fights happen at the wrong time. The situation will die down quickly, usually in less than 30 seconds. You can either move on to problem solving or reach an agreement to work on it at a better time.

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