【題目】 針對(duì)現(xiàn)在中學(xué)生上課走神、近視率越來(lái)越高、身體素質(zhì)下降等種種情況(如圖所示),某中學(xué)提出了“EXERCISE AN HOUR A DAY,MAKE US HEALTHY.WEALTHY AND WISE”的健身號(hào)召。并要求每位中學(xué)生用英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)一篇短文,要求如下:
1.鍛煉身體的好處;
2.鍛煉身體的方式;
3.你對(duì)學(xué)校開(kāi)展體育鍛煉的看法或建議。
4.字?jǐn)?shù)在80詞左右,開(kāi)頭已給出(不計(jì)人總詞數(shù))。
Exercise is very important to us students.Nowadays,we are under so much competition and pressure.______________________________________
【答案】
Exercise is very important to us students.Nowadays, we are under so much competition and pressure that our health is becoming worse and worse, poor eyesight, no enough energy for study, which makes us worried too much.We need to take part in all kinds of outdoor activities, such as having ball games, running, swimming and so on, from which we can keep healthy and strong study better and live happily.
No matter hoe busy, we wish teachers could leave us less homework to do so that we can have free tome to take part in sports.We also hope our school can offer us much more chance to do some activities which are good for us.
【解析】
試題分析:這篇短文要求我們對(duì)某個(gè)學(xué)校提出的鍛煉身體的號(hào)召發(fā)表自己的看法。說(shuō)一說(shuō)鍛煉身體的好處和方式,是一篇開(kāi)放性的作文,題目中只給出了話題,短文的展開(kāi),內(nèi)容的充實(shí),都需要學(xué)生自己來(lái)完成。因此寫(xiě)作時(shí),我們應(yīng)首先想清楚如何來(lái)組織這篇短文,使它的內(nèi)容完整,符合題目要求。關(guān)于鍛煉身體的話題,在教材中曾提到過(guò)的,也是學(xué)生們比較熟悉的一個(gè)話題。它的好處有很多,如增強(qiáng)我們的體質(zhì),讓我們精力充沛,學(xué)習(xí)進(jìn)步;鍛煉的方式也有很多,如跑步、游泳、體操等。最后我們還需要對(duì)學(xué)校的這一號(hào)召發(fā)表自己的看法或提出建議,這一部分的內(nèi)容也是需要學(xué)生自己發(fā)揮來(lái)完成的。寫(xiě)作的時(shí)候,注意使用正確的時(shí)態(tài)和人稱,多使用好的句型和短語(yǔ),使文章表達(dá)流暢,意思連貫。
寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn):這是一篇優(yōu)秀的作文,短文中作者按照題目的要求,對(duì)學(xué)校呼吁的健身號(hào)召提出了自己的看法和建議,并且闡述了鍛煉身體的好處。首先作者就先點(diǎn)明了鍛煉對(duì)于學(xué)生們來(lái)說(shuō)是很重要的,并且闡述了原因;第二段中作者對(duì)學(xué)校和老師提出了一些建議,希望能給學(xué)生們更多的時(shí)間去鍛煉身體。結(jié)構(gòu)非常清晰。短文中作者還使用了較豐富的句型,如Nowadays, we are under so much competition and pressure that our health is becoming worse and worse, poor eyesight, no enough energy for study, which makes us worried too much、No matter hoe busy, we wish teachers could leave us less homework to do so that we can have free tome to take part in sports等。但是短文中長(zhǎng)句較多,可以使用長(zhǎng)短句結(jié)合,使文章更有節(jié)奏。
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