【題目】書面表達(dá)

假定你是李華，暑假想去一家外貿(mào)公司兼職，已寫好申請(qǐng)書和個(gè)人簡(jiǎn)歷（resume）。給外教Ms Jenkins 寫信，請(qǐng)她幫你修改所附材料的文字和格式（format）。

注意：

1. 詞數(shù)100左右;

2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，已使行文連貫。

【答案】

Dear Ms Jenkins,

I am Li Hua. I am writing to tell you something about my plan for the coming summer vacation and I also want you to do me a favor.

In order to get some practical experience, I am planning to take a part-time job in a foreign capital company. I have already finished my job application and personal resume. But this is the first time that I have written an application and the personal resume, so I don’t even know if there are something to pay attention to. So, I’m writing you the letter , hoping you can give me some help. I will be very grateful if you can help me.

Looking forward to your reply. And I’d be really thankful.

Yours,

Li Hua

【解析】

【試題分析】本文是一篇考生們熟悉的書信類體裁的書面表達(dá)，內(nèi)容貼近學(xué)生生活，所以人人有話可說。文章沒有給出開頭和結(jié)尾，所以考生要注意書信的格式，包括稱呼語(yǔ)，正文以及結(jié)束語(yǔ)等。在寫作時(shí)要注意先列出寫作要點(diǎn)，而且要注意將來時(shí)、現(xiàn)在時(shí)以及現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)的交錯(cuò)使用；注意使用高級(jí)句式和多種結(jié)構(gòu)的使用，而且語(yǔ)氣要委婉禮貌。

【亮點(diǎn)】 本文是一篇較為優(yōu)秀的范文。格式正確，要點(diǎn)全面，語(yǔ)言通順流暢，很好地完成了寫作任務(wù)。在本文中開頭提出寫信的目的，然后具體講述自己的困難，再提出請(qǐng)求，最后表達(dá)自己的感激之情。所以在內(nèi)容上邏輯性較強(qiáng)。此外，作者還使用了不定式短語(yǔ)In order to get some practical experience, 現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)hoping you can give me some help, 賓語(yǔ)從句if there are something to pay attention to等。經(jīng)典句式this is the first time that I have written an application and the personal resume也是文章的亮點(diǎn)所在。

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