Question

【寫(xiě)作內(nèi)容】
你叫Jack,由于父母到中國(guó)工作，暫時(shí)寄讀于某所中學(xué)。在學(xué)校食堂用餐一段時(shí)間后，你覺(jué)得有必要向?qū)W校食堂管理處反映一些問(wèn)題，于是決定給管理處的黃先生寫(xiě)封信，信中包括如下內(nèi)容：
1.學(xué)校食堂的優(yōu)點(diǎn)：食堂干凈,飯菜可口,服務(wù)員總是衣著整潔、面帶微笑,服務(wù)態(tài)度好。
2.學(xué)校食堂的不足之處：價(jià)格偏高；等候時(shí)間較長(zhǎng),學(xué)生常常得等候近30分鐘才能買(mǎi)到飯菜。
3.建議：盡快解決上述問(wèn)題；希望及時(shí)加熱飯菜，特別是在冬天時(shí)，這樣才能確保學(xué)生健康。
【寫(xiě)作要求】
用五句話(huà)表達(dá)上表的全部?jī)?nèi)容，并組成一篇連貫的短文。（信的開(kāi)頭已經(jīng)給出，不計(jì)入句數(shù)）
【評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)】句子結(jié)構(gòu)準(zhǔn)確，信息內(nèi)容完整，篇章結(jié)構(gòu)連貫。
Mar.26th, 2012源]
Dear Mr. Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.  
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Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

Answer 1

Dear Mr.Huang,
I’m Jack, a student in Class 2, Senior 3. I’m writing to tell you my opinions and expectation of the school canteen.    
In general, we are satisfied with the clean and tidy dining hall, its delicious food and the good service from the smiling waiters who are always neatly dressed. However, what is not to our satisfaction is that the price of the meal is a little too high and that we can only have a limited variety of dishes to choose from. In addition, students often have to wait in line for about 30 minutes before getting their food. We would greatly appreciate it if the problems mentioned above can be solved as soon as possible. Finally, I would like to suggest to you that the food should be heated in time to ensure the students’ health, especially in winter.
Thanks for your consideration.
Sincerely yours,
Jack

試題分析：題目要求就學(xué)校食堂的狀況，給食堂管理處寫(xiě)一封信。信的要點(diǎn)已經(jīng)給出，主要說(shuō)明優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)并提出建議。注意寫(xiě)作要求：用五句話(huà)表達(dá)所給要點(diǎn)，寫(xiě)作時(shí)注意語(yǔ)篇的連貫性。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】范文注意使用In general, However, In addition, Finally等短語(yǔ)銜接句子和段落，做到了連貫通順；
范文使用了較多的短語(yǔ)a variety of, choose from, wait in line, as soon as possible, would like to, in time等，基礎(chǔ)知識(shí)掌握得比較扎實(shí)；范文還用到了許多語(yǔ)法知識(shí)，像固定句型are satisfied with, 定語(yǔ)從句who are always neatly dressed, 主語(yǔ)從句what is not to our satisfaction, 表語(yǔ)從句that the price of the meal is..., 固定句型would appreciate it if..., 虛擬語(yǔ)氣suggest that the food should be等，體現(xiàn)了靈活駕馭語(yǔ)法知識(shí)的能力；范文還注意使用especially來(lái)加強(qiáng)語(yǔ)氣。