Reader: For six years, I’ve run an office that has two employees: me and my boss. He used to be so appreciative that I didn’t mind doing a little extra, but about two months ago, he started being rude and demanding. Now he even yells when I don’t have time to bring his favorite wine to his home after work.

This change started when we met a wealthy new customer, who is a huge jerk (古怪的人) -- my boss’s new behavior is just like his.

My boss is a good man; he and his family have treated me like a little sister. Is there a good way to discuss this with him?

Karla: Sounds like your new customer has set a bad example to your boss. You need to remind your boss that you’re in his corner-- but you’re not his slave. My suggestions are as follows.

Start with a simple question in a calm moment: “Is everything okay?”

State the truth: “Until recently, I’ve felt like a valued teammate. But our relationship has become tense. Your expectations of me seem to have changed. Although I used to do occasional personal businesses for you as a favor, now it seems expected.”

Draw your lines: “If you think my job description needs to change or my performance is not good enough, let’s discuss that. Otherwise, I need you to stop yelling at me and to respect my personal time.”

Ideally, you’ll get an apology and a promise to do better. After that, it’s a matter of reinforcement (加強) . If he starts yelling, look at him with a calm expression. After he cools down, restate his request and add, “Is that correct?” For the unreasonable request, such as fetching his favorite wine after work: “I’m afraid I can’t take care of that for you.” If he keeps acting like a jerk, there are bosses out there who will better respect your time and talent.

Karla L. Miller is ready to hear your work dramas. Send your questions to wpmagazine@washpost.com.

1.We can infer that the reader’s boss used to be ____.

A. grateful and friendly B. rich but strange

C. proud and hard-working D. honest but self-centered

2.What does the underlined word “demanding” mean in the first paragraph?

A. appreciating too much B. scolding too much

C. apologizing too much D. expecting too much

3.When the reader’s boss asks her to do something unreasonable next time, she is advised to ___________.

A. quit her job B. look at her boss calmly

C. refuse the request D. discuss the job description

4.What sort of problem can be solved by Karla L. Miller?

A. How do I make a friend?

B. How do I kill my personal time?

C. How can I get along well with my workmates?

D. How can I get rid of wine?

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