Question

【題目】閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Mother’s Gift

I grew up in a small town when the primary school was a ten-minute walk from my house. When the noon bell rang, I would race breathlessly home. My mother would be standing at the top of the stairs, smiling down at me.

One lunch-time when I was in the third grade will stay with me always. I had been picked to be the princess in the school play, and for weeks my mother had rehearsed my lines so hard with me. But no matter how easily I acted at home, as soon as I stepped onstage, every word disappeared from my head. Finally, my teacher took me aside. She explained that she had written a narrator’s (旁白的) part to the play, and asked me to change roles. Her words, kindly expressed, still hurt, especially when I saw my part go to another girl.

I didn’t tell my mother what had happened when I went home for lunch that day. But she sensed my pain. Instead of suggesting we practice my lines, she asked if I wanted to walk in the yard.

It was a lovely spring day and the rose vine (藤蔓) was turning green. Under the huge trees, we could see yellow dandelions (蒲公英) in the grass in bunch, as if a painter had touched our landscape with gold. I watched my mother casually bend down by one dandelion. “I think I’m going to dig up all these weeds,” she said, “pulling it up by its roots. From now on, we’ll have only roses in this garden.”

“But I like dandelions,” I protested. “All flowers are beautiful---even dandelions.”

My mother looked at me seriously. “Yes, every flower gives pleasure in its own way, doesn’t it?” She asked thoughtfully. I nodded, pleased that I had won her over. “And that is true of people too,” she added. “Not everyone can be a princess, but there is no shame in that.” Relieved that she had guessed my pain, I started to cry as I told her what had happened. She listened and smiled.

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150詞左右；

2. 應(yīng)使用5個(gè)以上短文中標(biāo)有下劃線的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)；

3. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語(yǔ)已為你寫好；

4. 續(xù)寫完成后，請(qǐng)用下劃線標(biāo)出你所使用的關(guān)鍵詞語(yǔ)。

Paragraph 1:

“But you will be a good narrator,” she said, _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

After the play, I took home the dandelion. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Answer 1

【答案】續(xù)寫范文1

Paragraph 1:

“But you will be a beautiful narrator,” she said, encouraging and comforting me as always as she did. My beloved mom, wearing a shining smile on her scarlet face, added. “The narrtor’s part is important, too.” Thanks to her encouragement, which calmed me down gradually, and I began to accept the narrator part was of vital significance. Time went so fast that it reached to the performance day. At first I was still nervous, but it was at that very moment that I found a dandelion in my pocket. I knew my mom passed the flower to me, which meant to be in company with me.

Paragraph 2:

After the play, I took home the flower. Mom carefully gazed at the dandelion, gently pressed it into the dictionary and grinned happily as she did. “We were perhaps the only people who would press such a sorry-looking weed.” Though decades have passed, I constantly recall our precious lunchtimes being together, clinging to each other, bathed in the soft midday light. For this, I am forever grateful, because smiles on mother’s face and her kind act foster a man like me now! And all those inspiring words like “Cease to struggle and you cease to live.” have been echoing in my mind as fresh as a daisy.

續(xù)寫范文2

Paragraph 1

“But you will be a beautiful narrator,” she said, reminding me of how much I loved to read stories aloud to her. “The narrator’s part is every bit as important as the part of a princess.” Her constant encouragement filled me with pride but before the night of the performance, I suddenly felt nervous backstage. My teacher came over to me. “Your mother asked me to give this to you,” she said, handing me a dandelion. Looking at It, I knew my mother was out there.

Paragraph 2

After the play, I took home the flower and my mother pressed it between two sheets of paper in a dictionary, laughing as she did it that, “we were perhaps the only people who would press such a sorry-looking weed.” After all these years, I often look back on our lunchtimes together, bathed in the soft midday light. For this, I am forever grateful, because smiles on mother’s face and her kind act foster a man like me now!

【解析】

這是一篇讀后續(xù)寫。閱讀短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

1．速讀全文，獲取大意

讀后續(xù)寫大多為記敘文，我們可以用五個(gè)W和一個(gè)H問(wèn)題來(lái)獲取文章大意，即用when、where、who、what、how、why來(lái)說(shuō)明“何時(shí)何地誰(shuí)發(fā)生了何事，事件是如何發(fā)展的，為什么會(huì)這樣發(fā)展。”

2．細(xì)讀原文，理清脈絡(luò)

續(xù)寫是對(duì)原文的延伸，學(xué)生續(xù)寫時(shí)要遵循原文的思路、風(fēng)格和語(yǔ)言；要做到故事情節(jié)爛熟于心，人物性格準(zhǔn)確把握。為此，學(xué)生有必要細(xì)讀原文，了解原文的風(fēng)格，用筆劃出原文主要情節(jié)，次要情節(jié)，矛盾的沖突點(diǎn)、高潮處或可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，從而理清原文脈絡(luò)。同時(shí)也應(yīng)關(guān)注原文好詞好句，細(xì)節(jié)描寫和有效對(duì)話。

3．分析邏輯，構(gòu)思情節(jié)

讀后續(xù)寫可以從兩方面構(gòu)思情節(jié)。一是分析文章結(jié)尾和兩個(gè)段落首句間的邏輯關(guān)系，根據(jù)五所思維，即“所見，所聞，所想，所感，所做”，運(yùn)用問(wèn)題鏈設(shè)置相關(guān)問(wèn)題構(gòu)思情節(jié)。

二是搭建中文支架構(gòu)思情節(jié)。合理且有創(chuàng)意的結(jié)尾能讓閱卷老師回味無(wú)窮。

4．細(xì)節(jié)描寫，優(yōu)化語(yǔ)言

學(xué)生續(xù)寫時(shí)應(yīng)運(yùn)用樸實(shí)、地道、恰當(dāng)?shù)脑~語(yǔ)，不必追求高大上的生僻詞匯。續(xù)寫情節(jié)應(yīng)是原文的延續(xù)。續(xù)寫手法敘述為主，描寫為輔。當(dāng)然，如學(xué)生能適時(shí)添加動(dòng)作描寫，肖像描寫，環(huán)境描寫，修辭表達(dá)和花樣表達(dá)情節(jié)等細(xì)節(jié)描寫，便能優(yōu)化語(yǔ)言表達(dá)，讓故事情節(jié)充滿畫面感。

5．檢查修改，謄寫終稿

完成續(xù)寫初稿后，學(xué)生要檢查、修改、潤(rùn)色自己的作文。自查情節(jié)是否合理，結(jié)尾是否有創(chuàng)意；語(yǔ)法、詞匯、人稱、時(shí)態(tài)運(yùn)用是否準(zhǔn)確；是否使用五個(gè)關(guān)鍵詞；是否有細(xì)節(jié)描寫和品質(zhì)詞句。最后用工整、端正的字跡謄寫語(yǔ)篇續(xù)寫，吸引閱卷教師的眼球。