Question

【題目】書面表達(dá)

請閱讀下面短文,并按照要求用英語寫一篇150詞左右的文章。

Cleanliness is important to academic success at one Chinese university where compulsory labor is part of a program designed to award class credits while teaching students with proper moral values.

During winter, the sky is still dark at 6:30 a.m. when the first-year students in Trade and Management College in Zhengzhou begin sweeping the 165-acre campus and it can take up to an hour.

Mr. Sun, the university official, said labor is good for building character and promotes “the spirit of hard work.” Some students also claim that they are always proud of the clean campus. They never litter because they’ve been through the labor and understand that they should respect the fruits of labor of others.

Some students, however, are against it because they feel the demands of the cleaning program are a distraction. Some often show up late and hungry to their morning classes after rushing to sweep the campus and clean their rooms.

【寫作內(nèi)容】

1. 用約30個(gè)單詞寫出上文概要；

2. 用約120個(gè)單詞發(fā)表你的觀點(diǎn)，內(nèi)容包括：

(1) 支持或反對這個(gè)學(xué)校的做法；

用2-3個(gè)理由或論據(jù)支撐你的觀點(diǎn)。

【寫作要求】

1. 可以支持文中任一觀點(diǎn)，但必須提供理由或論據(jù)；

2. 闡述觀點(diǎn)或提供論據(jù)時(shí)，不能直接引用原文語句；

3. 作文中不能出現(xiàn)真實(shí)姓名和學(xué)校名稱；

4. 不必寫標(biāo)題。

【評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)】

內(nèi)容完整，語言規(guī)范，語篇連貫，詞數(shù)適當(dāng)。

Answer 1

【答案】

支持：

One university in Zhengzhou designs a program where students must clean the campus every day and relates it to class credits. Some people support the program while others do not. (30)

Generally, I am in favor of the practice. To begin with, through their effort, students provide a clean and comfortable environment, which, as a result, is an assurance of their successful academic life. Moreover, cleaning and labor can not only serve to build students’ character but also contribute positively to students developing healthy routines and good sanitation habits. Last but not least, by enjoying the fruits of others’ labor, students will develop the awareness of gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor.

In short, carrying out the cleaning program is crucial. The significance for students of participating in it means more than academic success. It is part of moral education and benefits students as well as the campus. (120)

反對：

It is required by one university in Zhengzhou that students should clean the campus every morning to achieve class credits. Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person. (30)

I am strongly opposed to the practice for the following reasons. First of all, cleaning tends to take up too much time, which becomes a distraction for students and discourages them from focusing on their academic performances. Then, students can be encouraged to maintain clean living areas but it’s unreasonable to relate the cleaning with the academic credits. As students, they should put more efforts into their studies to achieve class credits instead of sweeping the campus. Furthermore, though someone claims labor can contribute to developing the spirit of hard work, it should by no means be achieved through daily floor-sweeping.

In conclusion, there is no sense in students sweeping the campus, for it benefits neither their character nor study. (120)

【解析】

試題分析：這是一篇立場選擇型作文寫作。動(dòng)筆前，一定要認(rèn)真閱讀原文，并理解內(nèi)容。認(rèn)真看清題目要求，這篇書面表達(dá)給了一段材料：先要求以約30個(gè)詞概括上文的主要內(nèi)容，要求有很高的概括提煉的能力，要抓住文章的主題，再以約120個(gè)詞寫一篇短文，按照要點(diǎn)去表達(dá)，不能有遺漏，寫作時(shí)注意準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系。寫作時(shí)盡量使用自己會(huì)的單詞、詞組和句型，同時(shí)也要注意使用一些高級(jí)語法和句型，使自己的文章更有文采。

支持：

第一段縮寫題文。就兩句話，點(diǎn)出主題背景，引出爭論話題， 30字一氣呵成。where的成功引導(dǎo)使得大段的文字濃縮在這一精簡的復(fù)合句中。第二段表明自己立場。Generally, I am in favor of the practice. Generally開頭，增色不少。To begin with, through their effort, students provide a clean and comfortable environment, which, as a result, is an assurance of their successful academic life.這一亮點(diǎn)句中，To begin with連詞使用得當(dāng)，梳理論述次序，而其后長短句結(jié)合，使得句子讀起來抑揚(yáng)頓挫，夾雜單詞which引導(dǎo)非限制性定語從句以及as a result做插入語成分，一下子使作文上升了一個(gè)檔次。Moreover，進(jìn)而論述。not only…but also…的使用經(jīng)典搭配將繁雜內(nèi)容一次打包。Last but not least，最后一點(diǎn)。develop the awareness of gratitude and regard labor as a matter of honor理由確切不牽強(qiáng)。第三段總結(jié)，In short. 其中significance，participating和as well as的使用可圈可點(diǎn)。

反對：

第一段概括上文的主要內(nèi)容，It is required by…Opinions on the practice vary widely from person to person句子新穎且承上啟下。第二段表明自身立場，strongly opposed強(qiáng)烈反對。First of all首先，思路明確，緊接which引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句將。Then接著，進(jìn)而論述。but 和instead of在承接句子間順折關(guān)系時(shí)效果不錯(cuò)。As students …設(shè)定從學(xué)生角度出發(fā)，說理更合情。Furthermore，再上一層樓。it should by no means 的使用使得句式再添一彩。第三段總結(jié)，In conclusion，文末總結(jié)。使用there is no sense…語氣感強(qiáng)烈，而neither …nor...便水到渠成地將受益兩者都否定掉。 (120)