Question

高考臨近，許多家長(zhǎng)用金錢(qián)，旅游等承諾鼓勵(lì)孩子努力學(xué)習(xí)，考上一所好大學(xué)。假定你是高三學(xué)生李華，請(qǐng)根據(jù)所提供的有關(guān)信息，給某英文報(bào)社寫(xiě)封短信。
內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)：
1.許多家長(zhǎng)用金錢(qián)，旅游等承諾鼓勵(lì)孩子努力學(xué)習(xí)，考上一所好大學(xué)；
2 可能會(huì)導(dǎo)致學(xué)生只關(guān)注物質(zhì)獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)，而減少學(xué)習(xí)樂(lè)趣；
3.一旦獲得想要的獎(jiǎng)勵(lì)就失去了學(xué)習(xí)動(dòng)力；
4.你的建議。
注意：1.不要逐詞逐句地翻譯。
2 為使語(yǔ)句連貫，可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)。
3 詞數(shù)100左右，信的開(kāi)頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總數(shù)。
Dear Editor,
With the college entrance examiation approaching…
Yours truly,
Li Hua

Answer 1

Dear Editor,
With the college entrance examiation approaching, many parents try to encourage their children to study hard and be admitted into a famous university. They promise that they will be
rewarded with things such as money, traveling and so on once they achieve the goal.
However, I don’t think this is a proper way. Firstly, it may lead to the fact that children’s attention will focus on such things instead of the pleasure of studying, Secondly, they may stop working hard as soon as they get what they want.
I think a wise way is to make us aware of the importance of going to a good university. Besides, we should have much knowledge for our furure. What’s your opinion?
Yours truly
Li Hua

試題分析：本書(shū)面表達(dá)是一篇提綱類(lèi)書(shū)面表達(dá)。第一步：審題。分析題目和提綱可知，這封書(shū)信的體裁應(yīng)該是議論文。論點(diǎn)是“家長(zhǎng)用金錢(qián)，旅游等承諾鼓勵(lì)孩子努力學(xué)習(xí)是不確當(dāng)?shù)摹�，陳述要點(diǎn)并說(shuō)明理由。因文章需要發(fā)表自己的意見(jiàn)，故使用第一人稱(chēng)。第二步：構(gòu)思。文章應(yīng)該按照“總——分——總”的結(jié)構(gòu)分為三段�？忌�在寫(xiě)作之前必修認(rèn)真審題，首先要注意文章的時(shí)態(tài)。不能根據(jù)材料逐字逐句的翻譯應(yīng)該注意句子的銜接，以提高作文的檔次。
【亮點(diǎn)說(shuō)明】文中使用了非常好的短語(yǔ)和句子為文章增色不少，比如encourage sb. to do，be admitted into，achieve the goal，focus on, instead of，as soon as，make sb. aware of；還運(yùn)用句型with引導(dǎo)的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)，同位語(yǔ)從句。并注意了句子的銜接如：once，firstly，secondly，however，besides 等等。