How to apologize properly is much more difficult than we think. Provided you want to teach your children to apologize, you must be good at saying sorry yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children “I’m sorry I got angry with you, but …” what follows that “but” can make the apology ineffective: “I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache ” leaves the person feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then there is the general, all covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that was particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying “I’m useless as a parent” does not make any sense.
These false apologies are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness. Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not voice these false apologies.
But even when presented with examples of really being sorry, children still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. A three-year-old might need help in understanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children’s expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that taking the biscuit without asking permission is acceptable, but that borrowing a parent’s clothes without permission is not.
小題1: If a mother adds “but” to an apology,________.
A．the child may feel that he owes her an apology
B．she knows that the child has been hurt
C．the child may find the apology easier to accept
D．she feels that she should have apologized
小題2:According to the author, saying “I’m sorry you’re upset” most probably means “_______”.
A．You have good reason to get upset
B．I apologize for hurting your feelings
C．I’m aware you’re upset , but I’m not to blame
D．I’m at fault for making you upset
小題3: We learn from the last paragraph that iiS teaching children to say sorry  
A.  the complexities involved should be ignored
B.  parents need to set them a good example
C.  their ages should be taken into account
D parents should be patient and tolerant
小題4:It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is  
A． to say sorry in a general way
B． a way to improve your relationships
C． a sign of social progress and social harmony
D．not as simple as it seems

小題1:A
小題2:C
小題3:C
小題4:D
恰當?shù)乇硎咀约旱那敢鈺任覀冊瓉碚J為的更為困難，在文章中提出了幾種無效的道歉行為，說明道歉并不像我們認為的那么簡單。
小題1:A
【試題解析】推理題。根據(jù)文章第二段what follows that “but” can make the apology ineffective: “I had a bad day” or “your noise was giving me a headache ” leaves the person feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.可知你but后面的內容會讓別人認為他們需要向你道歉以回應你的歉意。這不是一種真誠的道歉方式，也不會有很好的效果。故A正確。
小題2:C
【試題解析】推理題。根據(jù)文章第三段Another method by which people appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say “I’m sorry you’re upset”; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.可知說出“I’m sorry you’re upset”說明你認為對方的難受不是你的錯。這也不是一種很有效的真誠的道歉的方式。故C正確。
小題3:C
【試題解析】推理題。根據(jù)最后一段中的A three-year-old 和A six-year-old以及A 12-year-old可知當我們向孩子道歉的時候，要考慮到他們的年齡，對于不同年齡的孩子要使用不同的道歉的方式。故C正確。
小題4:D
【試題解析】推理題。根據(jù)文章第一段How to apologize properly is much more difficult than we think.
可知恰當?shù)乇硎咀约旱那敢鈺任覀冊瓉碚J為的更為困難。接著在文章中提出了幾種無效的道歉行為。說明本文說明道歉并不像我們認為的那么簡單。故D正確。
【長難句解析】
How to apologize properly is much more difficult than we think.
【翻譯】如何恰當?shù)氐狼敢任覀冋J為地要更加困難。
【分析】本句的主語是“特殊疑問詞+不定式” how to apologize properly；這個結構還可以在句中做主語，賓語，表語或定語。
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