Question

假如你叫李華，現(xiàn)正在美國加利福尼亞州上大學(xué)，你的一個(gè)朋友劉英寫信向你了解美國加利福尼亞州的情況，請根據(jù)以下內(nèi)容提示給他回信簡介加利福尼亞州。

 

地理方面	面積42.4萬平方千米，美國西部，西瀕太平洋，美國面積第三大的州
人口方面	約38,000,000人； 據(jù)說15000前印第安人首先進(jìn)入；16世紀(jì)歐洲人開始進(jìn)入；19世紀(jì)中世界各地的人帶著發(fā)財(cái)夢進(jìn)入；未來將還會有人因喜愛加州的氣候和生活方式進(jìn)入。
語言方面	58% 的人把英語作為母語來講，42%的人講其它語言。

 

＊加利福尼亞州： California；太平洋：the Pacific；印第安人：Indians

【寫作內(nèi)容】

請根據(jù)以上內(nèi)容給朋友寫回信，內(nèi)容包括：

1、加里福尼亞的地理方面的信息;

2、人口及其語言方面的信息;

3、信的開頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)給出，不計(jì)入句子數(shù)。

【寫作要求】

只能用5個(gè)句子表達(dá)全部內(nèi)容。

【評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)】

句子結(jié)構(gòu)準(zhǔn)確，信息內(nèi)容完整，篇章連貫。

Dear Liu Ying,

   Your letter reached me yesterday. You would like me to tell you something about California, so now I am writing to you.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________

If you want to know more, you may go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California#History. Best wishes to you.

Yours ever,

Li Hua

 

Answer 1

【答案】

 

One possible version:

Your letter reached me yesterday. You would like me to tell you something about California, so now I am writing to you.

California, the third largest state in size in the USA with a population of more than 38 million, is located in the west of the United States on the Pacific in the west. It is said that the first settlers were Indians who got there 15000 years ago and only in the 16th century did Europeans come to settle. In the 19th century, people from all over the world came rushing into California with the dream of becoming rich. It is believed that in the future more people, attracted by the climate and lifestyle, will keep immigrating to California. As for language, only 58% of Californians speak English as their native language, while the others speak other languages.

   If you want to know more, you may go to https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California#History

Best wishes to you.                                                                                                                   Yours ever,

【解析】

試題分析：考生首先要仔細(xì)審題，要點(diǎn)是以提綱形式出現(xiàn)的，做題時(shí)包括以下幾個(gè)方面：（1）層次結(jié)構(gòu)（2）句子的時(shí)態(tài)（3）內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)。尤其是內(nèi)容要點(diǎn)要把握準(zhǔn)確到位，要點(diǎn)需要考生拿捏準(zhǔn)確以及正確，這加大了寫作難度。再者考生要注意盡可能使句子的表達(dá)形式多樣化，適當(dāng)?shù)氖褂靡恍└呒壘涫胶透呒壴~匯，以提高書面表達(dá)的檔次和可讀性。因?yàn)橹荒苁褂?個(gè)句子表達(dá)全部的內(nèi)容。又要包括所有的要點(diǎn)，考生要多使用復(fù)雜句，一句話中要多包含些信息。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】文中使用了非常好的短語和句子為文章增色不少，比如would like sb to do, is located in還運(yùn)用了It is said that…，It is believed that句式; who引導(dǎo)的定語從句及only in the 16th century did Europeans come to settle.倒裝句等等。并注意了句子的銜接如：As for language等等。