【題目】A grand memorial service was held Wednesday, October 28, 2009, in central Hubei Province to honor three college students who died from rescuing two children from the Yangtze River on October 24. Thousands of people holding chrysanthemums went to the Jingzhou Memorial House to see off the teenagers, all 19-year old students from the Yangtze University based in Jingzhou City.
The trio(三位)were Chen Jishi, He Dongxu and Fang Zhao. More than 10 students from the Yangtze University formed a ladder with one student holding another's arms to rescue the two boys in the river on the afternoon of October 24. One of the student lost his grip (控制)on his classmates and all of them were in danger. Several members of a winter swimming team nearby came to help. Chen Jishi, He Dongxu and Fang Zhao were swept away in the torrent. People touched by their selfless act had donated more than 500,000 yuan ($73, 206) to their relatives on Wednesday. Millions of Internet users made online comments on major news portals(入口)to show their grief( 悲傷).
“I am also a college student. I sorrow for you,” said Liu Zhuoya from northwestern Xi'an City. However, some questioned the sacrifice. “Sacrifice three and rescue two, is that worthwhile?" asked "Tiaozhantianya" on the forum of www. 163. com." Rescue can not be blind as they could not swim.”
寫作內(nèi)容:
1 以約30個詞概括短文的要點。
2 以約120個詞就“救人是否要考慮自身安全”這個主題發(fā)表你的看法,至少包括以下要點:
1) 當別人有難時,你是否會馬上伸出援手?為什么?
2) 救人時你是否會考慮自身的安全?
3) 假如你當時在場,你會怎樣做?
寫作要求:
1 你可以使用實例或其他論述方法支持你的觀點,也可以參照閱讀材料的內(nèi)容,但不得直接引用原文中的句子;
2 作文中不能出現(xiàn)真實姓名和學校名稱。
評分標準:概括準確,語言規(guī)范,內(nèi)容合適,篇章連貫。
【答案】
Three college students from the Yangtze University, who lost their lives in order to rescue two drowning children,were honored as heroes in many ways. Their behavior drew public attention and wide discussion.
As to me, I will help the people in trouble without hesitation. Just as the saying goes, life is difficult. Everyone may face difficulties that they cannot overcome by themselves, so an instant help is important. Moreover, if you often try your best to help others, you will be helped when in trouble in return.
However, I will first consider my own safety before I can rescue someone in danger because it is not worthwhile to lose one more life in case I fail. Therefore, if I had been on the spot, I would have jumped into the river to rescue the children on condition that I could swim. If not, I would have first called the police and then persuaded people on the boat and the swimmers nearby to help.
【解析】
試題分析:題目要求先用30個詞概括短文要點,然后用120個詞就“救人是否要考慮自身安全”這一話題發(fā)表自己的觀點。寫作要點包括:會不會伸出援手和原因;救人時會不會考慮自身安全;在場的話你會怎么做這三個方面?梢詤⒄赵,但不能直接引用;作文中不能出現(xiàn)真實姓名和學校名稱;不要出現(xiàn)標點和拼寫錯誤,盡量保持卷面整潔、字體美觀;注意行文的連貫性。
亮點說明:范文首先概括短文要點,再發(fā)表自己的看法。范文涵蓋了所有的寫作要點,進行了適當?shù)耐卣,并注意語句的連貫性;范文還使用了定語從句、條件狀語從句、原因狀語從句、虛擬語氣、省略等語法知識,具備較強的語言運用能力。
語法方面:定語從句that they cannot overcome by themselves;條件句if you often try your best to help others和if I had been on the spot與on condition that I could swim;時間狀語從句before I can rescue someone in danger;原因狀語從句because it is not worthwhile to lose one more life;目的狀語從句in case I fail;虛擬語氣I would have jumped into the river;省略If not等,語法知識運用嫻熟,顯示了較強的語法功底,也使作文句式變得多樣;
篇章結構方面:范文注意使用Just as the saying goes, so, moreover, however, therefore等來銜接句子和段落,使表達變得更有條理;
短語和搭配方面:范文使用了as to me, in trouble, without hesitation, try one’s best to do, in return, on the spot, persuad sb to do等短語和搭配,使作文的內(nèi)容變得充實。
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