Question

【題目】假如你叫李華, 你發(fā)現(xiàn)你的英國網(wǎng)友Alice的生活方式不太健康。你想給她提些建議。 請(qǐng)你用英語給寫封電子郵件，內(nèi)容包括:

用水果代替零食；

用水代替可樂；

減少使用電子產(chǎn)品的時(shí)間;

多運(yùn)動(dòng)；

注意：1. 詞數(shù)120左右，短文的開頭和結(jié)尾已經(jīng)寫好，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；

2. 可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié), 以使行文連貫；

3. 短文中不能出現(xiàn)與本人相關(guān)的信息。

Dear Alice,

Hope everything goes well with you.

Yours Sincerely,

Li Hua

Answer 1

【答案】

One possible version:

Dear Alice,

Hope everything goes well with you. Do you still stay up very late every night? I'm writing to share my ideas on how you can live a healthy life.

First of all, I think it's a good idea to eat more fruits instead of snacks. Also, you need to get rid of the habit of drinking cola only. Why not drink more water? If you spend less time on your smart phone, you can have more time to get together with friends. What's more, don't you think doing sports often can make you look well-built and feel energetic at the same time?

All in all, a healthy life style makes us healthy, wealthy and wise in the future. Hopefully you can follow my advice and make a change from now on.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：本篇書面表達(dá)屬于書信類寫作，根據(jù)提示信息和題目要求來展開。寫作時(shí)注意以下幾點(diǎn)：1、仔細(xì)閱讀有關(guān)提示，弄清試題提供的所有信息，明確有哪些要點(diǎn)。2、提綱是文章的總體框架，要在提綱的范圍內(nèi)進(jìn)行分析、構(gòu)思和想象。要依據(jù)提示情景或詞語，按照一定邏輯關(guān)系來寫。3、根據(jù)要表達(dá)的內(nèi)容確定句子的時(shí)態(tài)、語態(tài)。寫作書信時(shí)一定要注意文章結(jié)構(gòu)和層次，提出建議時(shí)要具有說服力，對(duì)于一些常用的動(dòng)詞，要注意其其他形式以更為簡(jiǎn)練的表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)，要靈活運(yùn)用各種短語和從句來豐富文章的內(nèi)容。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，層次分明，而且使用了多種句式和結(jié)構(gòu)。比如I'm writing to share my ideas on how you can live a healthy life是how引導(dǎo)的主語性從句。First of all, I think it's a good idea to eat more fruits instead of snacks用it作形式主語。If you spend less time on your smart phone, you can have more time to get together with friends是if引導(dǎo)的條件狀語從句。此外，文章還使用了大量短語 goes well with , share my ideas on , get rid of , instead of、live a healthy life等。插入語First of all，Also，What's more，All in all的使用使文章內(nèi)容更具有層次感，也使語言更加連貫。