16．假如你是李華．你看到美國(guó)留學(xué)生Sharon 在網(wǎng)上發(fā)貼，希望有人能幫助她提高普通話（Mandarin）水平，她可以教英語作為回報(bào)．請(qǐng)根據(jù)以下提示用英語給她寫一封電子郵件．
1．表達(dá)給她提供幫助的意愿； 
2．說明你能勝任輔導(dǎo)的理由； 
3．給出講好普通話的兩點(diǎn)建議；
 4．提出你學(xué)習(xí)英語的具體需求．
注意：1．詞數(shù)100左右，開頭語已為你寫好； 
2．可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫； 
3．文中不得透漏個(gè)人姓名和學(xué)校名稱；
Hi Sharon，
This is Li Hua．I learned from your post that you want to improve your Mandarin．．

分析 本題為提綱類寫作，根據(jù)材料所給的提示，寫一封電子郵件，寫作要點(diǎn)包括1．表達(dá)給她提供幫助的意愿； 2．說明你能勝任輔導(dǎo)的理由； 3．給出講好普通話的兩點(diǎn)建議； 4．提出你學(xué)習(xí)英語的具體需求．寫作時(shí)以第一人稱為主，時(shí)態(tài)以一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)為主要時(shí)態(tài)．
重點(diǎn)詞匯：be interested in （對(duì)…感興趣）；be fit for （適合）；In addition（而且，另外）；communicate with sb（與…某人交流）；spend time doing（花費(fèi)時(shí)間做某事）；be sure to do （一定做某事）；be eager to do （渴望做某事）；allow sb to do sth （允許某人做某事）
高分句型：1．①Learning Mandarin takes time，so ②if you want to learn it well，you should ③spend much time practicing Mandarin in everyday．
①動(dòng)名詞短語作主語，謂語動(dòng)詞用單數(shù)形式；②if引導(dǎo)一個(gè)條件狀語從句；③spend time doing指固定搭配，意為"花費(fèi)時(shí)間做某事"．
2．As the saying goes，practice makes perfect．
運(yùn)用諺語practice makes perfect（熟能生巧）增強(qiáng)文章的感染力．
3．Speaking and listening are very important for a language learning，by which you are sure to make great progress．
定語從句中當(dāng)關(guān)系代詞前面有介詞時(shí)，指物時(shí)關(guān)系代詞只能用which．

解答 Hi Sharon，
　　This is Li Hua．I learned from your post that you want to improve your Mandarin．I am quite interested in it．I think I'm fit for it．As a student，I have been learning Mandarin for many years．In addition，I am Chinese，which means Mandarin is a must for me communicate with others in my daily life．So I'm quite confident that I can help you learn Mandarin．
　　Learning Mandarin takes time，so if you want to learn it well，you should spend much time practicing Mandarin in everyday（高分句型一）．As the saying goes，practice makes perfect（高分句型二）．Besides，you can also read some books in Chinese，see some Chinese films and listen to some Chinese radio programs．Speaking and listening are very important for a language learning，by which you are sure to make great progress（高分句型三）．
　　In your post，you say you can teach English as a reward．It is just what I want．I'm eager to improve my English．So，if you allow me to help you learn Mandarin，you can help me improve my English．We can contact each other by video chat every night for half an hour in English and half an hour in Chinese，so that we can improve our oral speaking．
　　Hope for you early reply!
Yours Sincerely
Li Hua

點(diǎn)評(píng) 提綱作文在寫作時(shí)要注意要點(diǎn)的提煉要全，關(guān)鍵短語和句型要寫對(duì)，準(zhǔn)確運(yùn)用時(shí)態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系，還要注意人稱和時(shí)態(tài)使用要正確．盡量使用自己熟悉的單詞句式，同時(shí)也要注意使用高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句型使文章顯得更有檔次．

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