Question

Mandela 1918年出生于南非。他是一位偉大的黑人領(lǐng)袖，他為黑人們的平等權(quán)利奉獻(xiàn)了一生。在1952年他建立律師所，在那里很多窮黑人向他求助。他曾和平地攻擊法律，但不被允許。只到那時(shí)，他才決定要以暴制暴。因此他被捕入獄.他獲得1993年諾貝爾和平獎(jiǎng)的原因是他從未放棄為黑人的平等斗爭(zhēng)。他一直活躍于社會(huì)活動(dòng)中。他實(shí)現(xiàn)了他的夢(mèng)想—使黑人和白人一樣平等。
這就是Mandela,一個(gè)勇敢、有決心、無私奉獻(xiàn)的英雄。

Answer 1

Nelson Mandela was born in 1918 in South Africa. He is a great black leader who devotes all his life to fighting for the equal rights for the black people.
It was 1952 when he set up a law office where many poor black people turned to him for help. Mandela first attacked the laws in a peaceful way, but this was not allowed. Only then did he decide to answer violence with violence. So he was put into prison. The reason why he won the 1993 Nobel Peace Prize was that he never gave up fighting for the equality of all the blacks. He achieved his dream of making black and white people equal. At
present he is still active in social activities.
n          Such is Mandela—a brave,  determined and unselfish hero.

試題分析：本文屬于人物傳記類，介紹Mandela的生平事跡和貢獻(xiàn)，要把所給要點(diǎn)都包括在內(nèi)，注意時(shí)態(tài)。過去發(fā)生的事情使用一般過去時(shí)，要使用合適的連接詞把要點(diǎn)都連接起來，同上使用高級(jí)的詞匯和高級(jí)的句型來提升文章的檔次。在發(fā)表給人意見的時(shí)候，可以使用諺語(yǔ)可以大大提升文章的文采。
點(diǎn)評(píng)：本文的關(guān)鍵是要用精確的連接詞把人物的發(fā)展歷程表現(xiàn)出來，寫作中的連接詞，高級(jí)詞匯和句型的運(yùn)用都要有多體現(xiàn)。