Question

16．目前青少年壓力過大，為排解壓力一些青少年染上了一些惡習(xí)，如吸煙，飲酒、吃垃圾食品、上網(wǎng)成癮等，請你以學(xué)生會的名義參照以下提示用英語寫一封倡議書，呼吁中學(xué)生要"養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣，過健康生活"．要點如下：
1．青少年中存在的惡習(xí)以及它們的危害．（惡習(xí)和危害各至少2點）
2．好習(xí)慣的重要性和必要性．（至少2點）
3．呼吁你校學(xué)生養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣，過健康生活．
注意：
1．詞數(shù)120左右，開頭語已為你寫好，其詞數(shù)不計入總數(shù)；
2．可以適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；
3．文中不得透露個人姓名和學(xué)校名稱．

Answer 1

分析 本次寫作任務(wù)是就"養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣，過健康生活"這個話題寫一封倡議書，屬于議論文寫作．考生要先審清題目要求，確定好作文人稱、時態(tài)、寫作要點、段落等基本內(nèi)容．本文是應(yīng)用文中常見的倡議書．話題是呼吁中學(xué)生要"養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣，健康過生活"．有很強的可寫性，文章的要點也基本上都給出來了，但只是一個提綱，內(nèi)容有：1．青少年中存在的惡習(xí)以及它們的危害．2．好習(xí)慣的重要性和必要性．3．呼吁你校學(xué)生養(yǎng)成好習(xí)慣，過健康生活．除了基本的要點，考生還需要做適當(dāng)?shù)陌l(fā)揮．明確作文的基本內(nèi)容后，就是選用準(zhǔn)確的詞匯和恰當(dāng)?shù)木渥觼肀磉_．在寫作的過程中，要注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型，讓文章更有文采．同時在列舉措施的時候要使用合適的連接詞如：Besides，What's more等，讓文章看起來很有條理，也很流暢．
【亮點說明】范文觀點明確，有理有據(jù)，不乏好的短語和句子：be addicted to 對…上癮，at the cost of以…為代價，take action采取行動．As a result，in order to relieve the stress，some of us have developed bad habits，such as smoking and drinking，which are not only bad for our health but also can do harm to our society．這句話用了非限制性定語從句，some students prefer junk food，causing weight problem（obesity）．這句話用了現(xiàn)在分詞做狀語，F(xiàn)acing such serious situations，we'll have to get rid of band habits and form good ones，which is necessary and urgent．這句話用了過去分詞做狀語和非限制性定語從句，As we know，doing sports，reading，living positively are all good hanbits and only by forming good habits can we be happy and make achievements．這句話用了非限制性定語從句和倒裝句，It is well-known that it is good habits that lead many people to succeed．這句話用了it做形式主語．還有范文還使用了：Besides，What's worse，這樣的關(guān)聯(lián)詞使文章更加連貫．

解答 Dear students，
In the present world，we teenagers are living under great stress．As a result，in order to relieve stress，some of us have developed bad habits，such as smoking and drinking which are not only bad for our health，but also do harm to our society．（高分句型）Besides，some students prefer junk food，causing weight problem．What's worse，some are even addicted to the net at the cost of their health，studies and future．（高分句型）
Facing such serious situations，we'll have to get rid of band habits and form good ones，which is necessary and urgent．（高分句型）As we know，doing sports，reading，living positively are all good hanbits and only by forming good habits can we be happy and make achievements．It is well-known that it is good habits that lead many people to succeed．（高分句型）
Dear follow students，let's take action right now and keep physically and mentally healthy and form good habits．I believe they will benifi us all our lives!
   That's all．Thank you!

點評 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫，比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞，使文章流暢、通順，并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡單句而造成的單調(diào)感．（1）認(rèn)真審題，確定體裁． （2）構(gòu)思要點．根據(jù)題目要求，理解要表達的要點．設(shè)計好文章的層次段落，考慮所用時態(tài)、人稱等，把要點串聯(lián)起來，構(gòu)成文章框架．（3）選詞造句，避難選易．（4）認(rèn)真檢查，避免錯誤．仔細(xì)閱讀全文，查找是否有錯，注意時態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點是否有誤，句式是否正確．邏輯是否一致．