Question

17．目前，大多數(shù)高中生選擇住校．在寢室里同學(xué)們難免會發(fā)生一些小摩擦．上周二晚上十點(diǎn)半，張方和李華爭吵（張方熬夜學(xué)習(xí)，李華認(rèn)為影響睡覺…），你當(dāng)時在場，幫助解決了他們之間的矛盾．請用英語寫一篇關(guān)于這件事情的短文．詞數(shù)：100-120．
你的文章應(yīng)包括下列要點(diǎn)：
①張方和李華發(fā)生爭吵      ②你幫助解決矛盾        ③你的看法
注意：①文章的標(biāo)題和開頭已給出（不計入總詞數(shù)）．
②參考詞匯：harmonious   adj．和諧的   dormitory  n．宿舍
Creating a Harmonious Environment
Nowadays，as many students live in the school dormitories，it is hard to avoid quarrels．
     ．

Answer 1

分析 這是一篇提綱類書面表達(dá)，文章的要點(diǎn)也基本上都給出來了，但是不是很具體，考生要把要點(diǎn)解釋清楚，不能有遺漏．除了表達(dá)這些要點(diǎn)以外，還要闡述自己的觀點(diǎn)，這就要求考生自己拓展發(fā)揮，在寫作的過程中，要注意使用高級詞匯和高級句型，如強(qiáng)調(diào)句，倒裝句等，讓文章更上檔次．同時在列舉措施的時候要使用合適的連接詞如：First，second，Besides，What's more等，讓文章看起來很有條理，也很流暢．本篇文章在寫作時不要啰嗦，力求簡潔．
【亮點(diǎn)說明】所給范文語言簡潔，運(yùn)用了一些詞組和句型：stayed up熬夜，give in 屈服，calm sb．down使…冷靜下來，care about關(guān)心，made up組成，After all畢竟，F(xiàn)eeling tired，Li Hua went to bed immediately．這句話用了現(xiàn)在分詞做狀語，But he couldn't fall asleep with lights on．這句話用了with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)，He got so angry that he lost his temper，complaining about Zhang's selfishness．這句話用了so…that…從句和現(xiàn)在分詞做狀語，Whenever we face any problem，we should learn to understand and communicate with each other．這句話用了讓步狀語從句，Only when we think more for others can we create a harmonious environment．這句話用了倒裝句．

解答 Creating a Harmonious Environment
Nowadays，as many students live in the school dormitories，it is hard to avoid quarrels．Last Tuesday Zhang Fang stayed up doing his homework after 10：30 pm in the dormitory．Feeling tired，Li Hua went to bed immediately．（高分句型）But he couldn't fall asleep with lights on．He got so angry that he lost his temper，complaining about Zhang's selfishness．（高分句型）Neither of them would give in and the quarrel continued．
While they were quarreling，I tried to calm them down，saying all of us should care about others．（高分句型）They realized their faults and made up finally．
After all，we share the same school and everyone is part of the big family．Whenever we face any problem，we should learn to understand and communicate with each other．（高分句型）Only when we think more for others can we create a harmonious environment．（高分句型）

點(diǎn)評 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫，比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞，使文章流暢、通順，并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡單句而造成的單調(diào)感．（1）認(rèn)真審題，確定體裁． （2）構(gòu)思要點(diǎn)．根據(jù)題目要求，理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn)．設(shè)計好文章的層次段落，考慮所用時態(tài)、人稱等，把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來，構(gòu)成文章框架．（3）選詞造句，避難選易．（4）認(rèn)真檢查，避免錯誤．仔細(xì)閱讀全文，查找是否有錯，注意時態(tài)、單詞拼寫、字母大小寫、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤，句式是否正確．邏輯是否一致．