【題目】書(shū)面表達(dá)。

通過(guò)在班級(jí)內(nèi)進(jìn)行調(diào)查，我們發(fā)現(xiàn)很多同學(xué)在生活和飲食方面都存在一些影響健康的習(xí)慣，請(qǐng)你根據(jù)下面提示以Form a Good Living Habit為題寫(xiě)一篇短文。

現(xiàn)象：一些同學(xué)不吃早飯，課間吃一些零食(snacks)充饑；不喜歡吃蔬菜而喜歡吃一些高熱量的食物，平常也缺乏鍛煉。

結(jié)果：有些同學(xué)體重開(kāi)始增加，不時(shí)出現(xiàn)一些健康問(wèn)題。

建議：要養(yǎng)成有規(guī)律的生活習(xí)慣，按時(shí)吃早飯，多吃些健康食品，并加強(qiáng)鍛煉。

說(shuō)明：1、文章開(kāi)頭已給出，不記入總詞數(shù)。2、120字左右。

【答案】

Form a Good Living Habit

Through the survey we find that many students have some bad habits in life and diet. For example, some students don’t eat breakfast . When they feel hungry, they eat some snacks between classes. And also some others don’t like to eat vegetables but enjoy eating the kind of food rich in calories. What’s worse they did not do enough exercise. As a result many of them begin to gain weight and often have some health problems.

In order to keep healthy, therefore, we should realize the importance of healthy diet and try to develop good living habits. It will benefit us to eat breakfast on time and have more healthy food. Besides, we should also take more exercise.

【解析】

試題分析：本篇作文材料是關(guān)于習(xí)慣的，內(nèi)容貼近學(xué)生實(shí)際生活，屬于話題作文。 對(duì)既定的話題進(jìn)行討論，學(xué)生有一定的自由發(fā)揮空間，可以暢所欲言，各抒己見(jiàn)。就本篇作文而言，內(nèi)容涉及了三方面，即學(xué)生中存在的一些不良現(xiàn)象、由此導(dǎo)致的健康問(wèn)題和給人們提出的建議。在寫(xiě)作時(shí)要注意合理安排內(nèi)容，在遣詞造句上，應(yīng)多使用一些高級(jí)詞匯和高級(jí)句型，如定語(yǔ)從句、倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)、非謂語(yǔ)動(dòng)詞和強(qiáng)調(diào)句型等，恰當(dāng)?shù)卮┎逡恍┻^(guò)渡性詞語(yǔ)，比如on the other hand、besides、as a result等，這樣會(huì)使文章自然、流暢，有較強(qiáng)的邏輯性。

寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn)：本篇范文不僅語(yǔ)言清晰流暢，簡(jiǎn)潔自然，而且要點(diǎn)全面。文章開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山提出話題，然后用for example、some、others、what’s worse和as a result等詞語(yǔ)列舉出學(xué)生們中間所存在的一些不良現(xiàn)象和導(dǎo)致的健康問(wèn)題。此外，作者還用不定式短語(yǔ)in order to和副詞therefore, besides等引出作者所提的建議，這些連接詞的使用不僅很好的起到了承上啟下的作用，而且使文章上下銜接自然，結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，層次分明。文中出現(xiàn)的大量短語(yǔ)rich in、gain weight、develop good living habits.和take more exercise.反映出作者詞匯的豐富，也使文章更加簡(jiǎn)潔明了，清晰易懂。

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