Dear Connie,
How are you going now? I’m sorry to hear that you feel ashamed of your figure. Here is some advice I want to give you.
To keep fit, it is necessary for you to have a healthy diet. You’d better have different foods, especially fruits and vegetables, and drink milk as often as possible. It’s not a good idea to take weight-loss pills for a slim and attractive figure. It is not worth it. Having enough sleep together with regular exercise such as walking and riding is also beneficial to your health. Besides, you should take an active part in school sports. In my opinion, it is not a good habit to spend too much time reading, watching TV or chatting on-line. Always be active and keep optimistic and don’t be discouraged (disappointed/frustrated/upset) whenever you meet with trouble.
試題分析:考查提綱式作文:發(fā)一封郵件安慰加拿大好友Connie,告訴她該做的不該做的事情,考生首先要認真閱讀前面的提示,認清寫作要求和提綱之間的關系,這篇文章的提綱很詳細,是以表格形式呈現(xiàn)的,結(jié)構(gòu)很清楚,考生需要根據(jù)所給提綱,靈活運用英語知識,采用不同的表達方式將各要點完整地表述出來,注意主次分明,詳略得當。語言力求準確、簡潔。根據(jù)情景的發(fā)展,按順序安排好材料。同時應選用合適的連接詞或過渡詞,使文章具有一定的連貫性?忌仨氄J真查驗是否有漏寫情況,有無拼寫錯誤及標點誤用等
【亮點說明】范文使用了一些常用的短語:feel ashamed of“對…感到羞愧”, as often as possible盡可能經(jīng)常, Be worth sth“值得…”, take an active part 積極參加,還有句型:Here is some advice I want to give you.這句話用了省略關系代詞的定語從句, To keep fit, it is necessary for you to have a healthy diet. 這句話用了不定式做目的狀語,和it做形式主語, It’s not a good idea to take weight-loss pills for a slim and attractive figure.最近還好也是 it做形式主語, Having enough sleep together with regular exercise such as walking and riding is also beneficial to your health. 這句話是動名詞做主語, Always be active and keep optimistic and don’t be discouraged (disappointed/frustrated/upset) whenever you meet with trouble. 這句話用了讓步狀語從句,還有文章還使用了Besides, In my opinion,這樣的關聯(lián)詞使文章更加連貫。