分析 這篇作文要求我們根據(jù)所給信息寫(xiě)一封電子郵件?內(nèi)容包括:自我介紹;出游時(shí)間?目的地等信息;需要提前做的準(zhǔn)備工作?寫(xiě)作時(shí),我們可以根據(jù)需要將這些信息進(jìn)行整理和安排,使文章的意思銜接更自然?文中所使用的詞匯和句型,是學(xué)生們比較熟悉的,所以將平時(shí)的積累發(fā)揮出來(lái)就可以?當(dāng)然我們要盡量使用一些好的句型和連詞,使文章上下文意思連貫,更出彩?
寫(xiě)作亮點(diǎn):這是一篇非常優(yōu)秀的作文,短文中作者按照題目的要求條理清楚,結(jié)構(gòu)清晰,要點(diǎn)全面?而且作者在寫(xiě)作時(shí),并不是完全按照題目中給出的順序,逐句翻譯的,而是將這些信息進(jìn)行了整合,讓意思關(guān)聯(lián)緊密的放在一起表達(dá)?短文中的語(yǔ)言合乎英語(yǔ)的表達(dá)規(guī)范,而且作者還使用了一些較好的詞匯和句式,增強(qiáng)了文章的連貫性?如:動(dòng)詞不定式和動(dòng)詞-ing形式的使用,被動(dòng)結(jié)構(gòu),狀語(yǔ)從句,賓語(yǔ)從句和一些好的短語(yǔ)act as,be amazed at,in terms of,look forward to等等?
解答 Dear Mr.Smith,
It is honor to introduce myself to you.I'm Li Hua,chairman of the Student Union of our school.And I was asked to act as a tourist guide for you on next weekend.(自我介紹)The schedule and details are as follows:
We'll have a wonderful and well-organized trip,not far from the downtown.Since you are new here,you will be amazed at the scenery and surroundings there.(高級(jí)句型)In terms of the meeting time,8 o'clock on the morning of Saturday will be fine.(高級(jí)句型)And at that time,I will be waiting for you at the school gate.Remember not to take too many things.Just a bottle of water,some pieces of bread or other kinds of food,a cap or a pair of sunglasses will be enough.(出游時(shí)間和目的及準(zhǔn)備)
Looking forward to seeing you.(高級(jí)句型)I believe we'll have a good day.
Yours sincerely,
Li Hua
點(diǎn)評(píng) 應(yīng)該注意適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)以使行文連貫,比如適當(dāng)選用表示因果、遞進(jìn)、轉(zhuǎn)折關(guān)系的連接詞,使文章流暢、通順,并避免因反復(fù)使用句式相同的簡(jiǎn)單句而造成的單調(diào)感.(1)認(rèn)真審題,確定體裁. (2)構(gòu)思要點(diǎn).根據(jù)題目要求,理解要表達(dá)的要點(diǎn).設(shè)計(jì)好文章的層次段落,考慮所用時(shí)態(tài)、人稱等,把要點(diǎn)串聯(lián)起來(lái),構(gòu)成文章框架.(3)選詞造句,避難選易.(4)認(rèn)真檢查,避免錯(cuò)誤.仔細(xì)閱讀全文,查找是否有錯(cuò),注意時(shí)態(tài)、單詞拼寫(xiě)、字母大小寫(xiě)、標(biāo)點(diǎn)是否有誤,句式是否正確.邏輯是否一致.
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