Question

9．現(xiàn)代人越來越離不開手機(jī)．你在暑期社會實(shí)踐活動中，對手機(jī)的使用進(jìn)行了調(diào)查，發(fā)現(xiàn)很多人在開車、過馬路時、…都在使用手機(jī)．針對這一現(xiàn)象，請你按下列要點(diǎn)用英語寫一篇不少于100詞的短文，呼吁人們文明使用手機(jī)．
1、描述這一社會現(xiàn)象；
2、你的觀點(diǎn)和合理建議．
注意：文中不要出現(xiàn)學(xué)校及考生名字
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Answer 1

分析 高分句型
1．However，as is shown in a survey of social practice in summer vacation，an increasing number of people use mobile phones in improper situations，such as driving cars，crossing the roads or attending conferences．
然后，正如暑假期間做的一份社會實(shí)踐調(diào)查結(jié)果一樣，越來越多的人在不恰當(dāng)?shù)膱龊鲜褂檬謾C(jī)，比如開車途中，橫穿馬路時或者在開會時也在使用手機(jī)．
as引導(dǎo)的非限制性定語從句，表明現(xiàn)在的情況和暑期做的社會實(shí)踐調(diào)查結(jié)果一樣，非限制性定語從句是先行詞的附加說明，去掉先行詞也不會影響句意，將非限制性定語從句放在句子中間，前后都用逗號隔開．
2．Only when everybody has the awareness of the negative impacts of improper use of phones can we create a more civilized society．
only引導(dǎo)的倒裝句，位于句首的only如果后面接副詞、介詞短語或從句等狀語，則主句用倒裝結(jié)構(gòu)．但如果only后跟的是主語，則不需用倒裝．此處使用倒裝句，是為了強(qiáng)調(diào)人們需要意識到不當(dāng)使用手機(jī)造成的負(fù)面影響的重要性．

解答 Mobile phones bring us a lot of convenience．（高分句型）However，as is shown in a survey of social practice in summer vacation，an increasing number of people use mobile phones in improper situations，such as driving cars，crossing the roads or attending conferences．Such inappropriate behavior is likely to bring bad consequences．On one hand，using mobile phones in this way may cause terrible accidents，which is really dangerous．On the other hand，talking loudly on the phone in public places is far from being polite．
    Personally，I think we shouldn't use mobile phones where attention or silence is needed，for instance，in libraries，hospitals，or in a plane．Besides，relevant laws are supposed to be passed in order to guide people's use of cell phones so that they will acquire good habits in public．（高分句型）Only when everybody has the awareness of the negative impacts of improper use of phones can we create a more civilized society．

點(diǎn)評 考生在寫作此類提示內(nèi)容較少的作文時，需要自己補(bǔ)充大量相關(guān)內(nèi)容，先開門見山，提出要解決的問題和觀點(diǎn)，再根據(jù)提綱寫出主題句，依托主題句選擇最合乎主題句的例子，寫作時注意學(xué)會使用過渡詞，恰當(dāng)?shù)厥褂眠^渡詞，可避免結(jié)構(gòu)松散，層次不明，表意不清等弊端．