Question

閱讀下面短文，按要求用英語寫一篇150詞左右的短文，向《21世紀(jì)報》中學(xué)生版投稿。
Florence Chadwick was born in California in 1918. She grew up on the beach and began competing as a swimmer at the age of six, when her uncle entered her in a race. For the next 19 years, she continued as a competitive swimmer.
On July 4, 1952, at the age of 34, Chadwick attempted to become the first woman to swim 21 miles across the Catalina Channel, from a port on the California coast. That day the ocean was ice cold, the fog was so thick that she could hardly see the support boats that followed her, and sharks swam around her. Several times, her support crew used guns to drive away the sharks. While Americans watched on televisions, her mother and her trainer, who were in one of the support boats, encouraged her to keep going. However, after 15 hours and 55 minutes, with only a half mile to go, she felt that she couldn’t go on, and begged to be taken out of the water.
Later, Chadwick told a reporter, “Look, I’m not excusing myself, but if I had seen land I know, I could have made it.” The fog had made her unable to see her swimming goal, and it made her feel she was getting nowhere. Two months later, she tried again. Although the fog was still heavy, yet this time she made it with the goal rooted in her mind. She knew behind the fog was the land she pursued.
【寫作內(nèi)容】
1．以約30個詞概括短文大意；
2．以約120個詞就“Goal and Success”的主題談?wù)勀愕目捶ǎ瑑?nèi)容包括：
1）分析Chadwick第一次失敗和第二次成功的原因；
2）Chadwick的故事對你有什么啟發(fā)；
3）結(jié)合實際談?wù)勅绾螌崿F(xiàn)自己的目標(biāo)。
【寫作要求】
1．可以參照閱讀材料的內(nèi)容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子；
2．作文中不能出現(xiàn)真實姓名和學(xué)校名稱。

Answer 1

An American woman swimmer Chadwick succeeded in crossing the Catalina Channel after failing in her first attempt. It was a goal in her mind that enabled her to make it. (30詞)
Chadwick failed in her first attempt because she couldn’t see the “l(fā)and” (goal) due to the “fog” (difficulty). But later, she succeeded because she had “the goal rooted in her mind” despite the heavy “fog”.
From the story, we know we should understand the relation between the goal and the difficulty. The goal can encourage us to work hard to achieve success while the difficulty may prevent us from reaching our goal. However, we can achieve our goal by overcoming any possible difficulties.
As students, we may meet with many difficulties in our study, but we can surely overcome them if we have a clear goal. I wish all of us could break through the “fog” to reach the beautiful “l(fā)and”. (121詞)

試題分析：本文屬于讀寫任務(wù)寫作，動筆前，一定要認(rèn)真閱讀原文，并理解內(nèi)容。認(rèn)真看清題目要求，這篇書面表達(dá)給了一段材料：先要求以約30個詞概括上文的主要內(nèi)容，要求有很高的概括提煉的能力，要抓住文章的主題，再以約120個詞寫一篇短文，按照要點去表達(dá)，不能有遺漏，寫作時注意準(zhǔn)確運用時態(tài)，上下文意思連貫，符合邏輯關(guān)系。寫作時盡量使用自己會的單詞、詞組和句型，同時也要注意使用一些高級語法和句型，使自己的文章更有文采。
【亮點說明】范文首先簡潔的歸納了原文的主旨大意，然后展開論述，觀點明確，有理有據(jù)，不乏好的短語和句子：succeeded in 成功地做…，due to因為，prevent sb. from doing阻止某人做…， It was a goal in her mind that enabled her to make it.這句話用了強調(diào)句， The goal can encourage us to work hard to achieve success while the difficulty may prevent us from reaching our goal. 這句話用了while表示對比的關(guān)系， As students, we may meet with many difficulties in our study, but we can surely overcome them if we have a clear goal. 這句話用了but連接的并列句和if引導(dǎo)的時間狀語從句。I wish all of us could break through the “fog” to reach the beautiful “l(fā)and”. 這句話用了虛擬語氣。