【題目】假設(shè)你是李華，在一個(gè)禮品網(wǎng)站為你的姐姐訂購了一份生日禮物。禮物是一個(gè)標(biāo)有姓名、生日及祝福語的有卡通動(dòng)物形象的粉色杯子。收到禮物后你和姐姐都很滿意。請給你的英國筆友Johnson寫一封郵件，內(nèi)容包括以下要點(diǎn)：

1．描述網(wǎng)購的禮物；

2．介紹網(wǎng)上支付及配送情況；

3．談?wù)勀銓W(wǎng)上購物的看法。

注意：1．100個(gè)詞左右；開頭和結(jié)尾已給出，不計(jì)入總詞數(shù)；

2．可適當(dāng)增加細(xì)節(jié)，以使行文連貫；

3．參考詞匯：支付寶安全控件Alipay Security Control.

Dear Johnson,

I ordered a birthday gift for my sister on the Internet three days ago.

.

.

.

I’m looking forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【答案】

Dear Johnson,

I ordered a birthday gift for my sister on the Internet three days ago. It was a beautiful pink cup decorated with my sister’s name, her date of birth, and some best wishes to her as well. It was so lovely a cup with a picture of a cartoon dog on it that both my sister and I liked it at first sight.

Besides, I am very satisfied with Alipay Security Control, which is very convenient and safe. And so is the delivery service. I have received the cup within two days. Don’t you think it’s very fast?

I have enjoyed shopping online very much through this experience. There is no doubt that more and more people prefer shopping online nowadays. We don’t have to spend much time going to the shops or markets with such a good variety of choices on the Internet. Agree with me?

I’m looking forward to your early reply.

Yours sincerely,

Li Hua

【解析】

試題分析：本文的寫作重在理順?biāo)鶎憙?nèi)容的編排，可以采用三段式的文體。首先對我前幾日所購買的生日禮物進(jìn)行描述，簡單描寫一下它的外形及裝飾（decorate）；進(jìn)而對網(wǎng)上購物的支付和配送服務(wù)進(jìn)行介紹，表達(dá)自己對支付寶這種支付方式非常滿意和放心；最后，發(fā)表自己對網(wǎng)上購物的看法，可以從越來越多的人們都進(jìn)行網(wǎng)上購物并且它非常的安全方便方面進(jìn)行介紹。寫作過程中注意語言的親切，注意互動(dòng)，因?yàn)檫@屬于書信類文體，可適當(dāng)使用疑問句來增加親切感。本文的寫作用注意對不會(huì)的表達(dá)進(jìn)行替換，同時(shí)注意避免使用中式英文和硬譯。對于高中作文的寫作要注意多使用被動(dòng)，倒裝、虛擬來提升作文的美度。在平時(shí)寫作時(shí)應(yīng)該多進(jìn)行閱讀，對閱讀過程中寫的好的表達(dá)要進(jìn)行積累，并且學(xué)以致用，勤積累，多背誦，這樣才能作文才能穩(wěn)步的提升。

【亮點(diǎn)說明】

文中使用合適的副詞把各要點(diǎn)聯(lián)系成文，如besides；也使用了一些高級(jí)的詞匯詞組如date of birth, be satisfied with, look forward to, spend time doing sth.等以提升文章的檔次分。本文結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊，層次分明，而且使用了多種句式和結(jié)構(gòu)。比如There is no doubt that運(yùn)用了同位語從句；which is very convenient and safe運(yùn)用了定語從句。

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